The DC Neighborhood Tourism Project

Friendship Heights. Is there anything better than friendship? Apparently city planners realized that many rich people compensate for their lack of meaningful relationships by engaging in overindulgant consumerism (“Every time I’m sad, I buy a new pair of Louboutins and a Louis Vuitton purse!”) because Friendship Heights features some of the most obnoxiously expensive shopping in the city. The pictured Nordstroms Rack is situated across the street from a Neiman Marcus so as to make the bargain hunters feel cheap and bad, which reinforces the vicious cycle of rich people sadness syndrome, buyers remorse, and debt. Friendship Heights is also home to a Cheesecake Factory, which many people mistake for a good restaurant and decide to dine at in spite of themselves. Friendship Heights is a great place for people watching, especially if you like watching dead eyed Washingtonians schlepping from shop to shop buying unflattering leggings and hats that nobody should ever wear. They all return to their homes in Kent and weep in front of their fireplaces, stoking the flames with their vestigial 2 dollar bills. Pro tip: sit at the Frozenyo off Jenifer and eat overpriced frozen yogurt whilst observing people looking self-conscious coming out of discount stores. It’s a thing. Also, there are some stunning displays in that Neiman Marcus. 123 Neighborhoods Remain.

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